The Australian Bureau of Statistics has confirmed today that votes in the marriage equality postal survey will not be counted unless they have been posted on social media prior to being returned. “There is no point holding this vote unless… Read More ›
Internet Needs Knee Replacement After Another Week Of Standing Up For Terror Victims
A weary Internet has checked itself in for double knee replacement surgery after another heavy week of standing up for people killed and maimed in acts of violence. “I’ve been up and down like a bride’s nightie and my knees… Read More ›
World Panics after Death Of Last Remaining Adult
Relatives of the world’s last living adult Frank Barnstaple have confirmed that the 93 year old grown up has passed away, leaving the residents of the world frightened and bewildered. “When I was a kid there were adults everywhere making… Read More ›
Twitter Threatens To Improve Service With Comic Sans Font
Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey has issued a harrowing threat to consumers amid falling share prices, warning that in a continued effort to improve the Twitter experience, the company will change the font of their messages to Comic Sans. Comic Sans… Read More ›
Man With No Liberal-Voting Friends Still Posting Daily Statuses Urging Friends Not To Vote Liberal
A 31-year-old sociology tutor has spent the past four weeks-plus posting daily Facebook statuses urging each and every one of his 387 Facebook friends to “under no circumstances” vote Liberal in the July 2 federal elections — despite having absolutely no Liberal voting… Read More ›
Trump Thinkpiece Bursts Out Of Chest Of Internet Commentator
Friends of amateur blogger Jason Blather are in shock after witnessing a thinkpiece explaining the rise of Donald Trump violently eat its way out of his chest. “Jason was quietly enjoying a soy latte when he suddenly went into convulsions,”… Read More ›