Prime Minister (for now) Malcolm Turnbull has held discussions with New South Wales Premier Alan Jones over the country’s energy crisis and suggested Mr Jones consider getting fracked. “A number of leading energy experts have told me that fracking prominent… Read More ›
Lateline
Confused Barnaby Joyce Thought He Was In The L&P Party
Deputy Prime Minister (for now) Barnaby Joyce was shocked to learn that he was a member of the Liberal National Party (LNP) and not the Lemon and Paeroa (L&P) party. “Thirteen years ago I joined what I thought was the… Read More ›
Marriage Equality Vote Attacked By Water Fleas
The parliamentary vote on marriage equality is recovering in hospital after being savagely attacked by water fleas in Port Phillip Bay last night. “The debate about me had been heating up so I took a dip in the bay to… Read More ›
Andrew Bolt Calls For Christopher Pyne To Be Hung For Treason
Conservative commentator and founder of the Tony Abbott fan club, Andrew Bolt has demanded that Junior Minister for Defence, Christopher Pyne be hung for treason. The call comes after a recording of Minister Pyne has emerged where he claimed marriage… Read More ›
George Pell To Get Miracle Cure Once Royal Commission Is Over
God has confirmed that Cardinal George Pell is going to receive a miracle cure for the medical condition that prevents him from flying, but only after the Royal Commission into child abuse is completed. “Friends and colleagues of Cardinal Pell… Read More ›
Tony Jones To Mediate Peace Talks In Iraq
Lateline presenter and occasional guardian of democracy Tony Jones has been appointed by United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki Moon to mediate peace talks between the Islamic State of Iraq and the Lavant. The appointment comes in recognition of Jones’… Read More ›