The world stands on the brink of having to watch a whole new season of M*A*S*H as leaders decide how to respond to Kim Jong Un’s testing of an intercontinental ballistic missile. “If war breaks out the west will have… Read More ›
POTUS
Malcolm Turnbull Joins Cast Of Saturday Night Live
Prime Minster Malcolm Turnbull will quit politics to join the cast of Saturday Night Live after producer Lorne Michaels spotted his turn impersonating Donald Trump at the Canberra Midwinter Open Mic Comedy Night. “This Aussie guy’s Trump impression knocks Alec… Read More ›
America Gets Cracking On Building Wall Now That Trump Is Out Of The Country
America has taken advantage of Donald Trump’s first overseas trip to greatly accelerate construction of its protective border wall, hoping to have it finished in time to prevent the President’s return to the country. “I’d never really seen the value… Read More ›
Donald Trump Fires The Kettle For Being Black After Tip Off From The Pot
American President Donald Trump has released a statement today announcing that he has fired the White House kettle as the pot complained that it was black. Speaking to The (un)AustralianĀ Presdient Trump explained his decision, saying: “Look the kettle just wasn’t… Read More ›
CIA Assassinates Castro With Ingenious “Die Of Old Age” Plot
After 600 disastrous attempts to kill him such as blowing him up with exploding cigars and boring him to death with Michael Moore, the CIA has finally succeeded in assassinating Cuban leader Fidel Castro by the devious method of letting… Read More ›
Secret Service Agents Training To Dive Out Of Way Of Bullets In Case Of Trump Victory
A special crack unit of the United States Secret Service has begun learning how to throw themselves out of the path of oncoming bullets meant for Donald Trump should the Republican Party nominee successfully win the November election. “My role… Read More ›