Retailers are celebrating this week after sales of lollies, puppies and white vans have surged following the implementation of the under 16’s social media ban. ”It’s been a great week at the shop, we’ve seen a heap of bigger guys… Read More ›
Puppies
Lil’ Petey Has Taken His Bat n’ Ball And Gone Home Following Dunkley Humiliation
Opposition leader (for now), lil’ Petey Dutton, has chucked an epic tantrum, taking his bat and ball and going home to his room, following his humiliating loss at the weekend’s Dunkley by-election. ”Yeah, Petey is taking this one really hard,”… Read More ›
Dutton Tells People To Slip A Pineapple In Their Next Gas Bill To Say Thank You
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has told Australian’s to slip a pineapple into their next gas bill as a way to say thank you to the countries gas producers. ”This country owes a debt of gratitude to our… Read More ›
Dutton Sends Bandt A Basket Of Dead Puppies To Say Thanks For Covering As Opposition Leader
Holidaying Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has sent Greens leader Adam Bandt a gift basket of dead puppies as a thank you after the Greens leader stepped in as Opposition leader over the past week. ”It’s always nice… Read More ›
Dutton Sends Colleagues Holiday Snaps Of Him Shooting A Puppy
Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton who is currently holidaying in America has sent his colleagues video footage of him shooting a puppy. ”America is a great place and full of opportunity,” said the Dark Lord. ”Previously I have… Read More ›
Dutton Defends Using Go Fund Me Cash To Buy Puppies For Strangling
Australia’s Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has defended his decision to use funds raised for Queensland flood relief to purchase puppies to strangle. ”My role is very stressful and I’m sure that the people in my electorate want… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 