Dutton Sends Bandt A Basket Of Dead Puppies To Say Thanks For Covering As Opposition Leader

Holidaying Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has sent Greens leader Adam Bandt a gift basket of dead puppies as a thank you after the Greens leader stepped in as Opposition leader over the past week.

”It’s always nice when someone steps up to the plate and covers your leave,” said the Dark Lord. ”Let’s face it there’s not much talent on my front bench to do the job, so kudos to Adam.”

”I do hope he likes the puppies, I thought of giving him live ones but wasn’t sure if he had the upper arm strength to strangle them himself.”

When asked what his plans were for when Parliament returns, the Dark Lord said: ”We will work constructively to ensure that I will be anointed as the countries supreme over Lord.”

”If that means tearing down Albanese and all who stand in my way then so be it.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, as I’m still in America I’m off to machine gun some stray cats.”

Mark Williamson


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