Sky News To Run A Telethon To Raise Funds For Cardinal Pell

Niche news network Sky News Australia has announced plans to hold a telethon to raise funds for Cardinal Pell’s upcoming legal battles. They’ve asked their viewers, all 6 of them, to please give generously.

”The Cardinal has touched so many,” said Sky News Presenter Andrew Bolt. ”Sorry, it brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.”

”It is time this country gave something back to the Cardinal, I wish there was a way to get him to touch more children.”

When asked why he continued to stand by Cardinal Pell despite the continuing ongoing legal battles, the host of the Bolt Report said: ”The Cardinal is a great man who is doing God’s work, we have a lot in common.”

”He works for the Lord, I work for Rupert.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to scout a few Children’s choirs with the Cardinal. He does like to watch the kiddies in action.”

Mark Williamson


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