Dutton Tells People To Slip A Pineapple In Their Next Gas Bill To Say Thank You

Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has told Australian’s to slip a pineapple into their next gas bill as a way to say thank you to the countries gas producers.

”This country owes a debt of gratitude to our Nation’s gas producers,” said the Dark Lord. ”Mark my words, when I am this Nation’s supreme leader I will give the gas industry back every cent that Anthony Albanese has taken from them.”

”Even if I have to rip it out of the pensioners hands myself.”

When asked why he was putting the gas industry ahead of ordinary everyday Australians, the Dark Lord said: ”Ordinary Australians don’t vote for us unless industries like gas or mining scare them into it.”

”You think Abbott won on his personality and policies?”

”No, he won cause the mining industry scared people into voting for him.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long year so I’m off to strangle a few puppies as a way to relax.”

Mark Williamson


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