One Nation’s Pauline Hanson has suggested the Turnbull Government’s proposed lifetime ban from Australia for asylum seekers who attempt to arrive by boat, should “go further”. “It’s good that they’re banning them,” Senator Hanson said. “But preventing people ever seeing family… Read More ›
Refugees
Dutton Proposes Changing Anthem To ‘Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again’
Immigration Minister and part-time Mr Potato Head impersonator Peter Dutton has proposed changing Australia’s national anthem from Advance Australia Fair to Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again by The Angels. Minister Dutton told The (un)Australian: “Our anthem is out of date… Read More ›
Alan Jones Flies Over Syria, Declares It ‘Totally Safe’
Sydney radio broadcaster and climate change expert Alan Jones has followed up his fly-over the Great Barrier Reef, after which he declared he saw no evidence of the claimed wide-spread death of the coral, with a quick flight over allegedly war-torn Syria,… Read More ›
Majority Of Australians Should Be ‘Available As Food Source’, Says Peter Singer
Renowned Australian ethicist and vegan, Professor Peter Singer has declared it morally acceptable to eat the majority of Australian voters. Speaking from his office at Princeton University, the famed utilitarian philosopher, author of Animal Liberation and 27 other books, weighed… Read More ›
Peter Dutton Self Immolates The Last Of His Humanity
Peter Dutton has set fire to the last remaining shred of his humanity in an effort to convince asylum seekers that it is pointless to look at him for empathy over their treatment in offshore detention centres. “Fortunately I only… Read More ›
Refugees Criticise Liberal ‘Jobs And Growth’ Package For ‘Illiterate And Innumerate’ Australians
The Liberal Party is re-thinking its key election platform of “jobs and growth” less than two weeks into campaigning after realising it could benefit “illiterate and innumerate” refugees. Liberal spin-doctors went into overdrive yesterday to clarify that the party’s plan… Read More ›