Immigration Minister and part-time Mr Potato Head impersonator Peter Dutton has proposed changing Australia’s national anthem from Advance Australia Fair to Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again by The Angels.
Minister Dutton told The (un)Australian: “Our anthem is out of date and does not speak of who we are, I mean boundless plains to share? Young and free? Fair? This is not my Australia, hence the change.”
“Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again, no way get fucked, fuck off! What a statement that says to the world,” said an excited Dutton of the classic track by the legendary Australian pub band. “I mean we could get the Qantas kiddies choir and fly them to Manus Island or better yet straight to the middle east and they can sing it right into those asylum seeker, sorry economic migrants faces! Aussie, Ausssie, Aussie!”
At this point Mr Dutton left the interview, donned an Australian flag as a cape and proceeded to walk down the street screaming the new national anthem while kicking over garbage cans.