The member for Longman Wyatt Roy has reportedly been locked in his office for the past twenty seven hours and is refusing to come out. Sources close to Mr Roy say he will only leave on condition of Tony… Read More ›
Tony Abbott
Australians Shocked To Learn That Northern Territory Has Politicians As Well
Australians have been shocked to discover that the Northern Territory has politicians as well and that they are as dysfunctional as their own. ‘I thought Crocodile Dundee lived up there with Yothu Yindi and that was it,’ said Julie White… Read More ›
Tony Abbot Breaks Reset Button With Excessive Use
The Australian taxpayer will fork out $1700 to fund the installation of three new “reset” buttons in the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet after the previous button was broken by excessive usage. A senior cabinet minister from the Department of… Read More ›
Abbott Tipped To Appoint Prince Andrew Head Of Royal Commission Into Child Abuse
Following the success of his ‘Captain’s pick’ in knighting Prince Philip, Prime Minister Tony Abbott is tipped to announce later this week that Prince Andrew will be appointed head of the Royal Commission into Child abuse. The contentious appointment comes as… Read More ›
Tony Abbott To Be Paid 22 Dollars An Hour In New Enterprise Agreement
An unhappy prime minister Tony Abbott has been told that there are plenty of other people willing to do his job if he doesn’t like the terms of his new enterprise agreement. “How am I supposed to afford to put… Read More ›
Prince Philip Outraged At Demotion To Knight
Prince Philip has expressed profound disappointment at his recent demotion to a knight, advising that he intends to fight the appointment. “I’m taking the matter to Fair Work Australia,” he said. “I’m a prince goddammit, not a knight. Am I… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 