Abbott Tipped To Appoint Prince Andrew Head Of Royal Commission Into Child Abuse

Prince Andrew

Following the success of his ‘Captain’s pick’ in knighting Prince Philip, Prime Minister Tony Abbott is tipped to announce later this week that Prince Andrew will be appointed head of the Royal Commission into Child abuse.

The contentious appointment comes as the Prince is facing ongoing allegations that he had relations with an under-age sex slave that he was hooked up with by a convicted American paedophile. It is said that the allegations are serious enough for the Prince to consider cancelling all up-coming engagements, such as seeing Bill Cosby live.

A spokesperson for the Government told The (un)Australian, “It’s a great move by the Prime Minister, I mean it is a Royal Commission and Prince Andrew is a Royal, that combined with the fact he’s had kids, I mean has kids, has, has I meant to say has, bloody Tony and his hard on for the Royals.”

The move is said to upset many when we put this to Prime Minister Abbott he replied, “Shit happens.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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