Interpol has announced that every terrorist and potential terrorist is now in custody after a series of raids world wide targeting anyone who waves one finger in the air while making a point.
“We realised that we were getting nowhere trying to track down terrorists by listening in to electronic communications or by torturing terrorists already in jails”, said Chief Inspector Francois Spencier of Interpol. “Then we had the bright idea of just driving around and arresting every dude we saw wagging their index finger in the air while making a speech. Amazingly, there is a 100 per cent correlation between the habit and being a terrorist.”
“If I’d kept my hands in my pockets I’d still be a free man planning my next act of terror”, admitted Sydney man Bilal Hajji, formerly known as Trevor Smith of Pendle Hill. “Instead I had to get out Mr Pointer and use him to admonish the infidels, at which point several policemen swooped on me.”
“Raising the one finger whilst making a speech helps create a rewarding feeling of self importance for random know it alls, blowhards and terrorists”, said body language expert Stan Bowles. “By the way, that chick over there keeps looking at us and playing with her hair. I reckon she fancies us.”