Tony Abbott has caused widespread outrage over his threat to “shirt front” Russian President Vladimir Putin at the G20 meeting over the shooting down of flight MH17, with a Russian government spokesperson expressing strong condemnation and confusion over why Austria keeps threatening Putin.
“We had to look up what the hell a ‘shirt front’ was,” the spokesperson told The (Un)Australian about the Australian rules football term for a brutal “hip and shoulder” bump to an opponent’s front. “We still have no idea what any of this has got to do with Austria. I mean, Vladimir loves schnitzels!”
Residents of the Australian states of Queensland and New South Wales were equally bemused by the Abbott’s “shirt front” threat. But confusion turned to anger when they discovered it was an AFL term, with widespread cursing across both rugby league-following states about “fucking aerial ping pong”, accompanied by much loud wondering about “what the fuck is wrong with a decent spear tackle?”
Author: Carlo Sands