App Whizkid Makes Millions With Regret Calculator


Eugene Freckle has quickly become one of Australia’s youngest ever millionaires, at the age of sixteen, by creating a smartphone app that allows you to calculate how much regret you have in your life.

Regrets such as working behind a desk in an office for thirty years as a wage slave instead of doing something creative as a teenager that made you a fortune instantly. Or regrets like enrolling in a sensible accounting course rather than throwing caution to the wind and doing computer game design that your parents thought would be a waste of time when you graduated from high school.

The simple app asks you a few questions about how much you enjoy what you are doing with your life such as work, relationships, how much money you have, where you have traveled and if you used to be any good at sport or music but gave it away. It then calculates how much regret you have and gives you a score out of 100.

Eugene developed mediocre coding skills in high school and decided to have a go at creating the app. During testing he wasn’t sure if it was working as he always got a score of zero. He then tested it on his father, a veteran of the Vietnam war who came back and worked as an office manager in a distribution warehouse for 28 years and it returned a score of 97.

Mr Freckle told The (un)Australian, “I’m happy for him, but it’s just like kids these days to make a bunch of money and then rub your nose in it.”

Millions of people worldwide have downloaded the app and, in all but one case, the result highlighted how much better off they would have been to just invent an app rather than making the miserable and boring decisions that had led them lead a regret filled life. The one exception was the guy who created flappy bird and regretted it because of all the hate mail he received.

Eugene is apparently working on his next killer app that periodically sends you a text message telling you how long you have left to live and the probability of you achieving anything that will be remembered after you’re gone.

Ryan Crawford


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