The Prime Minister is a launching a new fragrance for the discerning voter.
DENIAL is described as being the very essence of the Prime Minister.
‘An Eau de toilette for when you’re life is down the toilet,’ said Gloria Jenkins of Absolutely Anything PR. ‘Denial is for the man who is always on the run. And we know our Prime Minister loves running, especially out of time.’
Ms Jenkins will be managing the launch tomorrow night although he Prime Minister won’t be present. ‘ He’s not needed. It’s obvious he loves the fragrance. He’s in it all the time,’ said the 51-year-old publicist.
Other members of the Liberal Party will be out in support. ‘They absolutely love the stuff,’ said Jenkins whilst blowing a balloon. ‘If I put it in Julie Bishop’s Gatorade, I’m sure she’d drink it.’
There is still no word on whether Malcolm and Lucy Turnbull will be present. ‘Naturally we could do with their support. No one else can work a launch like those two,’ said Jenkins mid-streamer. ‘Put Lucy in a room with an upturned collar and a glass of French and she’d sell a coalmine to Christine Milne.’
Jenkins is hopeful that the Communications Minister will support the Prime Minister. ‘Honestly I once saw Malcolm convince Gina Rinehart to hire a Filipino maid. If he can do that, he can sell something that stinks.‘
National domination for the fragrance is the only option. Jenkins says she won’t stop until everyone is wearing Denial, ‘I want the whole country in it by the next election.’