Unpopular Boy Killed In Car Crash


John Smith, who died in a recent car crash, was a bit of a dweeb who stank, school mates and family say.

17-year-old John Smith was killed over the weekend when the car the P-plater was driving crashed into a tree. Upon hearing of the accident, his school mates and family rushed to social media to remember, in their words, “an unpopular loser with no friends, who also stank”.

Smith, a Year 12 student at Yabby Creek High located in the country town of Yabby Creek, didn’t play sport, wasn’t really in to drama and didn’t have a part-time job, the town’s Mayor and butcher Dave Hadley said of the tragedy, noting: “When you first hear of a fatal accident in a country town, your heart goes into your mouth thinking it could be one of your own kids, or worse a member of the footy team. Thankfully on this occasion it was some nobody, but it makes you think.”

School captain and full forward for the local footy team, the Yabby Creek Dingoes, spoke to The (un)Australian of his former classmate: “I didn’t really know him, but I do remember he stank and didn’t play sport, the little dweeb, is this story going to be in the paper? If so can I say ‘Hi’ to my mum? And can I get a photo of me on the footy field, it might help me get drafted.”

John Smith’s funeral will be held later this week, with the Year 12 year group taking the day off, but not attending the funeral as apparently there’s a party at Macca’s place.

Mark Williamson

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