A massive after-election party in the dressing room of the NSW Liberals led to complaints to keep the noise down from Australian cricket team, who were celebrating their World Cup win in the next room.
Radio station Triple M telephoned Coalition vice-captain Troy Grant for a report on the state of the dressing room, receiving thw slurred account: “Let me paint you a picture. You’ve got a nude Bairdie dry humping Anthony Green in the middle of the room, Gladys Berejiklian is singing ‘Last Train To Pissedville’ at the top of her lungs and Fred Nile is wearing a copy of the upper house ballot sheet as a toga and insisting that everyone address him as ‘Fredus Keggus … Emperor of VB’.”
It is believed that Australian cricket captain Michael Clarke knocked on the door of the dressing room in the early hours of the morning requesting the elated election winners put a sock in it.
It appears most of the victorious Coalition team took the advice of Tony Abbott, who spent the election night broadcast questioning them about how “shitfaced” they intended to get in the post election celebrations.
Meanwhile, the Australian Electoral Commission is to investigate several allegations of sledging from Liberal Party candidates.
“I saw the member for Oatley Mark Coure give his opponent O’Bray Smith a proper sending off,” said an un-named source from a polling booth in the southern Sydney electorate. “He pointed her back to her electoral office and suggested she have a good look at the two-party preferred scoreboard in tomorrow’s paper.”