The Coalition Government has today released a draft paper that explores the idea of re-naming Manus Island, Tim Cahill Island in honour of Socceroos’ star Tim Cahill. Manus Island a province of North Papua is currently being used by Australia to store asylum seekers, allegedly.*
A spokesperson for the government who we will refer to as a high ranking minister but who Eric Abetz believes to be a lowly back-bencher told The (un)Australian “How good is Cahill, did you see the goal he kicked over his head? Mate, I love sport and so does Australia. So we figure we will call Manus Island, Cahill Island, the GP co-payment the Bradman donation and when we bring back work choices we’ll name them the Phar lap initiative. I tell you we are on a winner.”
The (un)Australian took the proposal to re-name Manus island to the people to gauge their opinion, Michael or Smitty as he was known to his mate’s told us, “Mate Cahill is a dead set legend, no probs at all with it Mate, but is an island enough? What about the losing state in this year’s origin contest gets renamed? You know Cahill Land or New South Cahill?”
*We say allegedly as the Government doesn’t like reporters talking about Manus Island.
** Hey ASIO if you want to know our sources assume it was a Mr Andrew Bolt of Melbourne.