Former rugby coach, radio broadcaster and burlap sack spokesperson Alan Jones has today presented Prime minister Tony Abbott with a ‘To Do list’ for him to act on in order to keep Mr Jones and his listeners happy.

In an interview with Abbott on his program, Mr Jones bemoaned the government’s lack of common sense and was critical of their constant release of papers. He then proceeded to read out to the prime minister his list, which calls for:

• Stripping former Prime minister Julia Gillard of her entitlements placing her in a burlap sack and taking her out to sea.
• A judicial inquiry into why Mr Jones was not appointed Wallabies coach for life.
• Taxing everyone over the age of 65 at the lower rate of 15 cents in the dollar to encourage older people, such as the 73-year-old Mr Jones, to stay in the workforce.
• Forcing school children to pledge allegiance to the flag and AM Radio.
• Knighthoods for every single farmer who’s ever had to endure hearing the word “drought” in their presence, and finally,
• ABC’s Triple J being forced to include Andre Rieu in every Hottest 100 countdown.

The (un)Australian reached out to Prime minister Abbott for comment, but he was busy fetching Mr Jones a cup of tea.

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MW__Oh

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Categories: Media

Tags: Alan Jones, auspol, government, julia gillard, MW, The unAustralian, Tony Abbott