Budget 2015: Peter Costello Returns As Federal Treasurer – Country Now To Be Run By Abbott And Costello

Abbott and Costello

Joe Hockey has been sacked as the Federal Treasurer, effective immediately.

The decision follows growing discontent from Prime Minister Tony Abbott, Peta Credlin and the joint Coalition party room over Mr Hockey’s failure balance the budget. Several back benches were also unhappy with Mr Hockey’s recent comments about poor people not owning cars and children living to 150.

Tony Abbott this morning held a quick press conference to announce the change. “As you are aware one of my key election promises was to get the budget back into surplus as quickly as possible, unfortunately Mr Hockey has not been able to do this, he is now looking for opportunities elsewhere and we thank him for all his hard work”

“We need to get the country back on its feet and I would like you to know this government is now to be known as the Abbott and Costello government”

One Coalition MP Barnaby Joyce who wished to remain anonymous told The (un) Australian:  “How hard can it to balance the budget? We have all this money coming in from the GST and all Joe had to do is make sure we don’t spend it, it’s not that bloody hard. We gave Joe an abacus and solar powered calculator from Tandy, what more does he need?”

Mr Costello office released a statement saying that “he is glad to be back in the treasury so that he could serve his country doing what he does best: giving tax breaks to struggling entrepreneurs like Gina Rineheart and James Packer”.

Some media pundits have speculated that a deal was done between Abbott and Costello. An ex-liberal staffer has said: “Peter never got the top job, because little Johnny would never leave his office, now he has made a deal with Tony, if he gets the budget back into surplus he can have the top job after the next election.”

This has been seen as a way of keeping Malcom Turnbull out of contention for at the least the next couple of election cycles.

 

Gus W Templeton

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