It’s been revealed that the counter terrorism summit being hosted this week by the Australian Government has set aside approximately ten hours so that the delegates can watch the entire series of Bourne movies.
On day two of the summit, the agenda outlines that after lunch they will watch the Bourne movies in chronological order, starting with the critically lauded trilogy starring Matt Damon followed by the stupid fourth movie in the series starring Jeremy Renner.
When asked why the delegates should have to sit through the awful last installment in the franchise, Foreign Minister Julie Bishop told The (un)Australian, “Look it’s going to be difficult, but we take counter-terrorism very seriously. If we can learn even the slightest detail from a movie so dumb that it is named for a character that isn’t even in it, then we’ll do so to protect the Australian people.”
Critics have suggested it is a poor use of the delegate’s time at the summit. Shadow Foreign Minister Tanya Plibersek told The (un)Australian, “Why are they spending ten hours watching the Bourne movies? It would be far more appropriate for them to watch the Die Hard films, which are actually about thwarting terrorism.”
Bishop rejected the criticism: “Typical Labor, the Die Hard films are about thieves pretending to be terrorists to distract from their goal of stealing money, apart from the last one in Russia, no one knows what was going on there.
“No, the Bourne films are much more important for the delegation. Those are about the terrorist Jason Bourne not doing what his government wants and being justly pursued. We can learn from the mistakes they made in not successfully hunting that criminal down, for one thing they could have revoked his citizenship.”
The summit continues.