Gov’t Declares ABC A Person, Revokes Its Citizenship

q&a audience

An ABC ‘lefty lunch mobs’ in action.

The national broadcaster came under fire on Tuesday after allowing a man acquitted of terrorism to speak on its flagship panel comedy show Q&A. In one of his signature thought-bubble moments, Prime Minister Abbott mused that if the ABC were a person, it would be a greeny-pinko-soy-flat-white-sipping-refugee-lover.

After an emergency session of cabinet, the government then declared the ABC a person and Immigration Minister Peter Dutton revoked its citizenship, citing national security concerns.

This decision follows earlier government criticism of the ABC as the kind of person who brings veggie snags to an Australia Day BBQ, doesn’t like beer, and backs every team except Team Australia. The Prime Minister especially singled out Q&A, saying “we all know the program is a lefty lynch mob.”

The ABC could not be reached for comment today, but a source close to the broadcaster understands that it has dual citizenship and can return to the United Kingdom any time.

“With all those reruns of Doctor Who, Midsummer Murders and Q&A’s sister program QI, you could say they’ve been moving back there for some time,” the source said.

Josephine Alexander

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