Lollipops Playground Assault Directly Linked to Lockout Laws


Over a year after lockout laws were introduced in Sydney’s Kings Cross it has emerged that violent assaults are down in the area, however crime rates have gone up at Children’s indoor playground centres.

The lockout laws were introduced after a series of high profile coward-punch cases saw the community calling for tough new measures to address the problem. The rationale being that it’s better to reduce the number of coward punches on the street by sending potential perpetrators home where they may commit the lesser crime of hero-punching their partners.

Critics of the legislation are claiming that the lockout laws haven’t solved the problem, but rather just moved it to other areas.

Crime analyst Trevor Smyth told The (un)Australian, “We have seen a reduction in violent crime in the Cross, but we’ve seen an increase of crime in other locations, like Newtown, Glebe and Lollipops playground.”

Asked whether the Lollipops Playground incident could in truth be linked to the lockout laws Smyth said, “Well since they were introduced, violent assaults at lollipops have risen from 0 to 1, that’s like infinity per cent if I’m getting my maths right.”

Police have acted quickly to ensure that the playground comes back under the control of law and order. Sergeant Sheen told The (un)Australian, “We’ve enforced a 72 hour closure notice, ordered a review of the security systems and restricted the venue from selling alcohol to children… for three months.”

Ryan Crawford

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