Bronwyn Bishop Claims Greek Island As Expense ‘For Spending Cuts Investigation’


House of Representatives Speaker Bronwyn Bishop is under fresh fire after a review of travel claims revealed the embattled speaker has recently claimed the purchase of a Greek island as a “parliamentary expense”.

Although Bishop is officially “on probation” after a growing series of expense claim scandals, a spokesperson for the speaker defended the purchase, telling The (un)Australian: “Ms Bishop bought the Greek Island in question as part of a legitimate parliamentary inquiry she was part of on how to cut wasteful public expenditure.

“The inquiry required travel to  Greece, as you are no doubt aware that Greece is a nation in the very forefront of spending cuts. If there is any spending they can cut, they have figured out how slash it to the very bone — they have to, or an angry German yells at them and takes a kidney, then shoots one of their children held hostage.”

The spokesperson said: “Visiting Greece was obviously essential for a representative of our parliament to learn how to avoid the sort of irresponsible wasteful expenditure that marked our Labor predecessors and burdened this nation with so much debt.”

Asked why this required the purchase of an island rather than simply a hotel room, the spokesperson insisted the island was essential “for reasons of secrecy, the people we had to meet did not want their names mentioned, and for godssake Yanis Varoufakis is in enough trouble as it is… ah… I mean… please don’t mention his name.”

The spokesperson insisted Ms Bishop had actually saved the taxpayer money, as “it is widely reported right now that Greek islands are going for an absolute bargain! We’ve worked it out and given the Greek crisis, their islands are going cheaper for the taxpayer than one month’s rent claimed by Joe Hockey on that flat owned by his wife.

“Yes, the age of entitlement is over! Labor might not understand this, but our nation is about lifters not leaners!”

Carlo Sands

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