Zebras worldwide have celebrated long and hard following the news that notorious zebra serial killer Cecil the Lion has been gunned down in a hail of bullets by vigilante dentist Walter Palmer.
“Good riddance to the scruffy maned bastard. As far as we’re concerned Palmer is a hero,” said a Zimbabwean zebra who wished only to be known by his nickname Stripey. “I’m sickened by the sympathy this prick has gained for his death while there was absolute silence about his many hundreds of ungulate victims.”
“This is fantastic news. It’ll be safe for the old and the lame to visit the waterhole once again,” said another zebra, who also only wanted to be identified by his nickname of Stripey. “Perhaps the good publicity this has gotten the shooter will prompt someone to take out that bastard crocodile who lurks near the river crossing.”
Meanwhile, gunman Palmer has announced plans for a hunting safari in Australia.
“I have my sights set firmly on Rory the Paddle Pop Lion,” said the much beloved big game hunter. “I’m going to blow him away with my Magnum.”