The Bill Cosby News Story Template

bill-cosby-as-cliff-huxtable

Editor’s note: At the (un)Australian, we endeavour to provide our readers with the most up to date information in the Bill Cosby scandal. Unfortunately, with new victims coming forward at an outrageous pace, no newspaper, not even one bankrolled by the money that falls out of Rupert Murdoch’s back pocket, could possibly keep you au courant. Therefore, the (un)Australian has created this Bill Cosby template. Print out as many copies as you need and then use our template guide to help you fill it out every morning so you can remain informed with the most current Bill Cosby information.

 

Following (1)_________’s allegations against Bill Cosby, (2)_ more women have come forward to accuse the former (3)_________ star of sexual assault. This brings the total number of women who have accused the comedian of sexual misconduct to an obscene amount.

Despite the overwhelming number of women who have accused Dr Cosby of drugging and taking advantage of them, the former comedian still has a number of vocal defenders. (4)___________, a conservative commentator, stressed that Dr Cosby is “innocent until proven guilty.”

“We all know that (5)_____ of women regularly get together to accuse a rich man of rape so they can steal his hard earned money,” the frequent contributor to Fox News explained.

Chad (6)_______, a Cosby fan, posted a series of tweets claiming the humourist could not possibly have done what he’s been accused of.

“Cosby is innocent. I was raised on The Cosby Show. He’s practically my surrogate father,” the unemployed 30 year old tweeted to his (7)__ followers.

For most people, however, this is just the latest horrifying reminder of what a formerly beloved star has been able to get away with for decades. Fortunately, while a considerable number of women have come forward recently, it’s safe to assume these latest accusers are the last of the skeletons in Dr Cosby’s closet.

 

Template Guide:

(1) last week/yesterday/today

(2) number of women who have come forward

(3) Cosby Show/Ghost Dad

(4) Name of defender

(5) “tens” or (hopefully not) “hundreds”

(6) the particular Chad’s last name

(7) 10/11/12

(8) your name

(9) he/she/they/it

 

(8)____________ is the volunteer reporter for The (un)Australian. (9)__ made as much money writing this article as they would have made working for Mamamia or the Olsen Twins.

https://twitter.com/MattJFarthing

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Categories: Arts, News

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