Sharks Too Scared To Attack Rupert Murdoch


Fearful of retaliation from his vast media empire, Australia’s sharks gave holidaying mogul Rupert Murdoch a wide berth as he snorkeled in the Great Barrier Reef today.

“Mate we all saw what happened to that tiger shark that pissed Rupert off a few weeks ago,” said terrified white pointer Bruce Sharkey. “All over the front page dead as a post with a whopping great big hook in his gob. No thanks.”

While the waters off the east coast of Australia have been largely free of swimmers in recent weeks, the News Corp executive chairman happily donned the flippers and a pair of budgie smugglers and cruised the normally shark infested waters of the reef without a care in the world.

He even tweeted at one stage on his official twitter account “Snorkeling the reef while it’s still there, hope sharks paid attention to what happened to Whitlam in 1975 #touchmeandyouareflake”.

“I’m heading right out to sea and won’t be coming back close to the shore till he’s safely back in his head office in New York”, said visibly shaken bull shark Nipper Williams.

“I don’t care if he dresses up as a seal and rubs his body down with chum, I’m not even going to have a nibble. I don’t want to be like that guy who runs the NRL and have a whole edition of the Sunday Telegraph dedicated to battering me.”

Peter Green

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