Former Prime Minister and on-line shopping enthusiast Tony Abbott has today given a speech in which he called for a Royal Commission into the Royal Commission into the response by institutions, including the Catholic Church, to child sexual abuse.
Speaking to The (un)Australian, Mr Abbott explained his thought process: “Well look, it’s time Islam reformed itself and my Government, I mean the Government, instead of wasting money on Royal Commissions into the Catholic Church they should hold a Royal Commission into the Royal Commission and then following that Royal Commission they could hold a Royal Commission into Islam.”
Elaborating on why we need a Royal Commission into a Royal Commission, Mr Abbott explained: “Because good government starts today, the people of Australia have spoken and they want me to lead a boots on the ground attack on Wentworth, now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to Seaforth to pick up a cabinet I bought on Gumtree, here’s hoping this one’s leak proof.”
Prime Minister Turnbull’s office was reached for comment however when asked about Mr Abbott they simply said: “Who?”
Mark Williamson
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The (un)Australian 