Tony Abbott Interested In Becoming UN Secretary General

One man whose name has been forgotten by history.

Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has added his name to the list of Antipodean candidates vying to replace Ban Ki-moon as Secretary-General of the United Nations. The announcement comes following months of speculation about fellow former world leaders Kevin Rudd and Helen Clark potentially succeeding Secretary General Ki-moon.

Mr Abbott, who announced his intention to recontest the next  election last month, is now indicating that he would consider leaving his safe seat of Warringah if the plum UN job were to make itself available. In an exclusive interview with The (un)Australian, Mr Abbott outlined the influx of asylum seeker vessels from Syria to Europe as the main reason for wanting the job.

“Look, the number one challenge facing the UN at the moment is boats. Now as I see it, you’ve got one former Australian Prime Minister who started the boats, and one who stopped the boats. It’s that simple. It’s that simple.”

As a Russian veto seems to be the biggest barrier to an Eastern European candidate being nominated, it is unclear how the Prime Minister who threatened to “shirtfront” Vladimir Putin expects to gain Russian approval.

Nathan Lentern

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Categories: World

Tags: , , , , , , ,

6 replies

  1. Haha im an abbott fan but funny


  2. haha an Abbott fan now that is funny


  3. Lets nail him to a cross and fulfil his dreams of martyrdom.


  4. Stick the idiot megalomaniac in one of the boats he keeps harping on about and stop him. Like a lingering fart, we wish he’d dissipate silently…..


  5. Abbott couldn’t do the job – he’s just incompetent .


  6. how far from Australia would he live………..he wouldn’t be able to do the job no question about that but a one way trip to MANUS ISLAND could be a wish come true…..I think the un is responsible for these dipsticks selling Australia anyway


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