The gala Sydney premiere of the new anti vaccination “documentary” Vaxxed had to be cancelled last night due to an outbreak of whooping cough.
“With all the loud coughing going on in the cinema it would have been impossible for anyone to hear the films message about the dangers of unsafe vaccines for your kids,” said director Andrew Wakefield. “It seems some lone psycho amongst the crew has taken some Lemsip and come to work whilst infected and now we’ve all got it. I can’t believe that someone would put the health of all us at risk just to get a paycheck.”
“Are you coughing on me?” said Robert De Niro, co-founder of the Tribeca film festival which scheduled the first screening of the movie. “You coughing on me? Then who the hell are you coughing on? Every night I have to clean the phlegm off the cinema seats.”
Controversy has surrounded the film after a conspiracy involving every doctor and scientist in the world has been mercilessly rubbishing the film’s theory linking MMR vaccine to the onset of autism.
“I heard that a big farmer is behind the conspiracy,” said conspiracy blogger Greg Sheeple. “So if you see a very tall bloke in overalls on a tractor telling everyone the film is evil, please tell him to stop.”