Malcolm Turnbull has pledged $230 million for Australia’s new cyber security strategy and is confident that it will greatly increase ASIO’s capability to trick world leaders into watching Rick Astley videos.
“Any nation without the ability to frustrate its enemies by making them click a link to Rick Astley film clips is going to fall behind very quickly in the modern world,” said the Prime Minister as he unveiled the strategy. “We’ve already fooled Chinese leader Xi Jinping by sharing a fake Buzzfeed article to his Facebook page called “Top Ten Things To Do On An Illegally Constructed Island In The South China Sea” that was really a link to Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up.”
Australia has beefed up its cyber security following an attack last year on the Bureau of Meteorology that compromised the integrity of every weatherperson in the country.
“We just couldn’t understand why it never rained whenever North Korean leader Kim Jong Un went for a picnic,” said head of ASIO cyber security Garth Spook. “Then we worked out that the North Koreans must have breached the firewalls at the weather bureau. That also explains why Vladimir Putin only ever washes his car on a sunny day.”
It is believed that hostile overseas hackers got into the system by guessing that Tim Bailey’s password was “Business Of The Brolly”.