Strange Bag On Lounge Room Floor Up To No Good Say Nation’s Cats


Australia’s cats have been warned to treat the strange bag that is sitting in the middle of the lounge room with caution and suspicion.

“Its intentions and purpose are unknown at this present time and it wasn’t there this morning when I passed through the lounge room on my way out to the backyard to look for mynah birds,” said Peakhurst tabby Mittens. “The best course of action is to give it a wide berth and maybe carefully moving in for a sniff later on.”

“I’d strongly recommend letting the two legged food providers deal with any foreign object that materialises in the lounge room,” said feline security consultant Mr Socks. “I once went too close to a large pair of boots that were sitting in the lounge room and was forced to jump backwards with all four feet in air when they suddenly made a jiggling motion.”

“It’s a perfectly acceptable response to be alarmed by the arrival of any object on the lounge room floor that wasn’t there before,” said neighbouring persian Fluffles. “While reports of cats actually being eaten by strange bags are scanty, I did once hear of a cat being forced into a basket and taken away to see something called a vee-ee-tee and never being seen ever again.”

Peter Green

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