World Thrilled To Discover New Coral Reef To Destroy


The world has expressed its delight this week over news scientists have discovered a huge previously unknown coral reef in the Amazon for humanity to destroy.

With the large-scale damage caused by the recent climate change-linked mass bleaching of the Great Barrier Reef likely to be made irreversible thanks to new large-scale coal mines being planned, concerns had been raised in some quarters that the world was running out of remarkably complex living reef systems to kill via practices enriching large fossil fuel corporations.

“This is a massive discovery — this is a new reef is about 600 miles long,” excited marine scientist Jenny Seaweed told The (un)Australian. “So far, we’ve found no less than 73 species of fish, spiny lobsters, stars, 60 species of sponges and a variety of other marine life, including a rare red algae, to render extinct some time in the coming years as part of the global mass extinction event underway.

“We don’t know how we managed to miss this exciting ecosystem in the Amazon until now,” Dr Seaweed said, “but it is lucky we found it when we did as in recent years, 80  large exploratory blocks have been acquired in that region of the Amazon for oil drilling, so we really don’t have long.

“I mean just imagine if we hadn’t had a chance to note these things before the only trace left of them was an extra pile of cash in the offshore account of some oil exec in a Panama tax haven? It doesn’t bear thinking about.”

A documentary team from the Discovery Channel are reported to have rushed to Brazil to capture the newly discovered reef so future generations will be able to witness the reef’s natural beauty, providing they shell out for the pay TV subscription.

Carlo Sands

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