Prime Minister and newly converted AFL fan, Malcolm Turnbull has today promised to French kiss the entire state of South Australia prior to the soon to be announced election.
A spokesperson for the Prime Minister explained the announcement, saying: “Malcolm has a deep love of power, I mean South Australia and will do anything to keep it. They want submarines? We’ll give them the finest French made subs we can find. I mean it’s the least we can do for the State that gave us Christopher Pyne, bodies in barrels and Kochie.”
Opposition leader Bill Shorten was reached for comment, however his office asked us to call back later in the day so that he had time to think up an appropriate zinger.
Submarines will start to be built in South Australia from 2018, unless of course Sophie Mirabella fails to win a seat in Parliament in which case they will be built overseas.