NSW Shooters and Fishers MP Robert Borsak has added to the variety of street food available in Sydney by opening a pop-up pulled elephant burger stand in Newtown to share his love of eating the tasty pachyderms.
“There’s nothing I like munching on more than a tender piece of elephant trunk carefully shredded and served on a sourdough roll with South Carolina mustard BBQ sauce,” said the legislative councillor. “I shoot the big tuskers myself out the back of the van so they’re nice and fresh and then feed them into one of those machines the local council uses to shred tree branches. Mmm mm.”
“I was torn between my love for animals and my love for any food that’s pulled and has hundreds of people lining up to eat it,” said local hipster Scott Kwinwah as he tucked into a double Dumbo Burger with pepperjack cheese. “I like the way you can pick your teeth afterwards with a big piece of ivory.”
“I’d like to assure my customers that all my elephants are free range and live a happy and contented life right up until I blast them in the face from three foot away with a high powered rifle,” said Borsak. “They come from a Zimbabwean government conservation program which culls a limited amount of elephants every year to help preserve the species. This ensures that future generations of boofheads will have something to shoot whenever they feel a little insecure about the size of their todgers.”
When asked what elephants tastes like, Mr Borsak replied that it was like a cross between a giraffe and a zebra.