Man With No Liberal-Voting Friends Still Posting Daily Statuses Urging Friends Not To Vote Liberal

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A 31-year-old sociology tutor has spent the past four weeks-plus posting daily Facebook statuses urging each and every one of his 387 Facebook friends to “under no circumstances” vote Liberal in the July 2 federal elections — despite having absolutely no Liberal voting friends.

Marrickville resident Jarvis Reynolds has been on a crusade ever since Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull called the federal elections in early May, with his long-suffering Facebook friends wearily noting the actual election is still three weeks away.

“It didn’t seem so bad last time, that campaign was just a few short weeks,” one worn out friend told The (un)Australian about Mr Reynold’s campaign, nominating Mr Reynold’s apparently earnest belief that his combination of detailed facts with an overbearing sense of moral superiority had the slightest hope of altering anything in the election as the thing that grated the most.

“At least last time he actually still had a couple of right-leaning Facebook friends,” the friend added. “But since then, he’s defriended his one right-wing uncle over the uncle’s failure to respond to his posts on the cost to the taxpayer of the Coalition’s offshore detention policy. Plus he was blocked by that Liberal-voting old school friend after repeatedly challenging the guy to ‘prove with actual statistical evidence that the Liberal lies on Labor debt were accurate’.”

“I keep expecting him to run out of topics,” another friend commented. “But so far he’s covered, in depth, matters of climate change, the threat to the Great Barrier Reef, the offshore mandatory detention regime, penalty rates, union rights, child care, public education, Medicare, Malcolm Turnbull’s ad claiming to have grown up poor, and every single bigoted statement by every Liberal candidate and, frankly, he could keep this up till Christmas.

“You’d tell him to get off Facebook and talk to his neighbours about the issues, but as he lives in an inner-city seat being fought over by Labor and the Greens, there doesn’t seem much point to that either.”

“Look,” Mr Reynolds said in his most recent status that was read by zero people who didn’t already agree, “I don’t care whether you vote Labor, Greens or independent. As many of you know, I have my own criticisms of Labor over their asylum policy and capitulation over ‘security issues’, but please, Australia cannot afford another three years of these incompetent clowns.”

At time of press, the status had been received 14 “likes”, eight “love hearts” and three “smiley” faces. Electoral analyst Antony Green could not be reached for comment on its likely electoral impact.

Carlo Sands
http://www.twitter.com/carlosands

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook.



Categories: Politics

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