Senator Roberts Unveils New Line Of Tin Foil Straitjackets


One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts has unveiled his new line of tin foil straitjackets at a press conference turned fashion show at Parliament House. Taking a break from attacking the CSIRO and the Bureau of Meteorology , the Senator announced his surprising move into the world of fashion.

Speaking to The (un)Australian about the launch, Senator Roberts said: “Well I’ve got this Senatoring stuff down pat, so I thought why not branch into fashion? I mean it’s clear I’ve got my finger on the pulse of what people want and I listen to the people. I mean people tell me I need a straitjacket at least twice a day, so why not sell them my own?

“And being tinfoil the jacket goes with my hat, take that Illuminati!”

When reached for comment on her Senator’s foray into fashion, One Nation leader Pauline Hanson said: “As long as the jackets are made in Australia I see no problem with it. I mean Malcolm is a curious fellow and he does a great job of making me look like the sane one in One Nation.”

Senator Roberts’ tinfoil straitjackets will be available in shops later this year. However, they won’t be available online, as in Senator Roberts’ words, “They’re watching us online and in real life, quick follow me to my bunker … wait you’re one of them, leave me alone.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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