David Oldfield Baffled By His First Contact With Intelligence


Former politician David Oldfield has been left reeling after meeting some intelligent people for the first time in his life as a participant in the SBS program First Contact.

“When you move in One Nation circles you only ever meet dum dums and thickheads so I was shocked to discover there were people in this country who still believe in ancient traditions like facts and decency,” said Oldfield after a long hard day of meeting people with triple figure IQs. “These people need to move on and realise that there’s no place in the modern world for studying stuff and making reasoned decisions.”

In First Contact a politician, reality TV star, actor, model, pop singer and stand up comedian are brought into close proximity with intelligent people as they go about their everyday life of not bumping into things and producing coherent sentences.

“Apparently I have to visit something called a library and open up a book.” complained Oldfield. “My brain is really hurting. If this is what one day of thinking does to a person then it just strengthens my resolve to stamp the whole practice out.”

Peter Green

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