Australian Scientists Discover New Form Of Bottom Feeding Parasite


Australian Scientists have announced that they’ve discovered a new form of bottom feeding parasite, which they have named the ‘David Leyonhjelm.’

Speaking to The (un)Australian Scientist Bernard Beaker said of the parasite: “Sometimes discovering these things happens out of the blue like this one did. It all happened on Friday when the awful tragedy in Melbourne occurred, most normal people were tweeting of their shock or sympathy for the victims but the Leyonhjelm parasite is different to normal people.”

“In that it had to use the tragedy to make an ill informed statement.”

When asked what the purpose of the David Leyonhjelm parasite was Mr Beaker answered: “We don’t actually know yet, the Leyonhjelm parasite is unusual in that it reacts positively to guns and other harmful objects but recoils when logic is introduced to an equation, it has a very similar DNA to both the Pauline Hanson parasite and the Cory Bernardi bottom feeder.”

Mr Beaker warned that if you spot a Leyonhjelm parasite in the wild it’s best to not engage and leave them in their natural habitat, trolling victims on twitter,

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Science

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