Steam coming out the ears of self righteous twats offended by the Coopers Light/Bible Society viral video will be harnessed to create electricity and stored in giant batteries, announced South Australian premier Jay Weatherall yesterday.

“The average inner city beardo produces up to 75 kilowatts of power every time you mention the existence of the video, slightly less if they actually bother to watch it,” said the premier during a candle lit press conference. “Energy entrepreneur Elon Musk, who is totally not a James Bond villain despite owning the most Bond villainy name of anyone in history, has promised to build us an outrage earsteam power station in return for us letting him use Adelaide as some kind of lair stocked with his henchmen.”

A spokesperson for Coopers Brewery says that the general public has taken to heart the video’s message of conducting a measured debate about issues of controversy.

“We’re actually a bit disappointed that the video hasn’t produced any kind of hysterical over-reaction and we may have to discipline our head of public relations,” said Coopers director Gus Sediment. “He’ll be given the traditional company punishment of being rolled repeatedly on the top of a bar by a giant bartender.”

The South Australian government has also announced that it has taken up Elon Musk’s offer to build a power station out of a giant balloon and a giant woolly jumper.

Peter Green
http://www.twitter.com/Greeny_Peter

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Categories: Science

Tags: auspol, beer, BibleSociety, BoycottCoopers, Coopers, electricity, Elon Musk, Jay Weatherill, Josh Frydenberg, power, South Australia