Illuminati Now Looking For New Head Of Secret Cabal To Enslave Humanity


Following the death of billionaire retired banker and head of the Illuminati secret cabal enslaving humanity David Rockerfeller at 101, the Satanic globalist secret society is now on the look-out for a new chief of staff to run its fascistic New World Order.

Speaking to The (un)Australian about the now vacant position, shapeshifting reptilian Xghrtjkill Gawfhpj from the Alpha Draconis star system, who prefers to be known as “Bill”, admitted the position was “quite a lot of work, basically spent overseeing a wholesale program to control all aspects of world governments and media, which must all be kept entirely secret asides from a series of hidden symbols the successful applicant will inexplicably scatter throughout popular culture for basement-dwelling single men with poor hygiene to discover”.

“However, it is quite well remunerated,” Bill added, pointing to the the late Rockerfeller’s position of one of the world’s richest men. “He also had access to all the still-beating hearts of innocent children sacrificed in Satanic rituals that he could eat.”

Bill said that, traditionally, the position was reserved for other shape-shifting reptilians from the Draco Constellation. However, under the equal opportunity laws ironically brought in as part of the Illuminati’s globalist agenda to create fascism, the Illuminati is obligated to consider all human-shaped creatures without prejudice.

“We are all very excited at the prospect that the position of overseeing human enslavement could be filed by an actual human for the first time ever,” Bill said. “So if this sounds like you, please apply via uploading a poorly made YouTube video featuring the correct hidden symbols to prove you are ‘The One’. Please, no time wasters.”

Carlo Sands

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Categories: World

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