Campbelltown Maccas Tops List Of Fifty Best Restaurants In World

Campbelltown McDonald’s has shocked more fancied establishments from France, Spain and Italy to be named number one in Restaurant magazine’s list of the Fifty Best Restaurants in the world in a glittering ceremony in Melbourne.

“The signature dish of twin pulverised beef puree agglomerates drizzled with an ash blonde jus served with julienned lactuta sativa, curdled bovine lactate, caramelised onions and vinegar infused cucumber laid upon a baguette liberally coated with seedpods of the sesamum flower had our palates writhing in ecstasy,” said head judge Anton La Droule. “The service was also top notch starting with the smirking teens at the counter who had us thinking we’d walked into the middle of some kind of private joke down to the spotty faced fellow at the back of the kitchen who never came within five metres of the diners.”

“I’m not surprised that people travel from as far afield as Minto and Narellan to sample the menu,” said rival chef Auguste Shoutie from French provincial restaurant Le Estomac Punaise. “The ambience created by the gherkin lined walls and scattering of Daily Telegraphs soiled with the grubby fingers of dozens of previous eaters is one I hope to replicate.”

International gourmands were amazed to learn that Maccas had in fact opened several subsidiary branches of its dinery.

“There’s more than one! Sacre Blur,” said startled Parisian cordon bleu cook Phillippe Rendregorge. “How can they possible maintain the standard of sliced and salted pomme frittes presented in a diminutive wire basket over multiple kitchens while still feeding so many policemen?”

Peter Green

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