Rob Oakeshott To Decide Winner Of UK Election

Both major British political parties are courting the vote of Rob Oakeshott after the former Australian independent won the key seat of Dodging Sope in the recent snap UK election.

“I aim to get the best deal for the constituents of Dodging Sope before deciding who to back,” said Oakeshott, who entered the election on a whim whilst holidaying. “I’ll be giving a forty seven hour long speech explaining why I’m going to be supporting either the heartless psychopaths of the tories or the godless communists of Labour.”

Oakeshott communicated that he was not fazed at all about sharing the stage on election night with some complete raving loonies.

“If people thought I’d be troubled by having to stand next to Lord Buckethead and some guy dressed as a panda then they’ve forgotten that I once shared parliament house with Bob Katter for three years. This is just water off a duck’s back.”

Peter Green

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