The Nobel peace prize committee has today announced that a Whitehouse aide who convinced President Trump that the button for detonating America’s nuclear weapons was in fact linked to his Twitter account has been nominated for the prestigious award.
“This very brave person who we shan’t name as it is likely President Trump would fire them, has done more to save humanity from a nuclear war than possibly anyone else in history,” said the Chairperson of the Nobel peace prize committee. “Convincing Trump that if he wanted to send nukes he merely had to tweet about it was a stroke of genius.”
“Trump is sitting in the Whitehouse convinced that he has nuked half the countries in the world when all he has done is send out some poorly written tweets.”
The Whitehouse aide said of his plan: “When I first met President Trump and saw how he reacted to being served an underdone cheeseburger I thought this man can’t have access to a microwave let alone a nuclear weapon. So I handed him a new cell phone and told him this was the President’s exclusive Twitter phone with nuclear weapons access.”
“So far so good. But let’s just pray he never asks what the big red button on his desk does.”
You can check out our new show Decennium Horribilius at this year’s Sydney Comedy Festival. Hosted by The (un)Australian, the quiz show features teams of some of Sydney’s best comics trying to answer questions about the decade of the 1990s — with prizes for the audience.
Saturday May 5, 5.30pm. The Factory Theatre. Book tickets here.