Banned Australian opening batsman Dave Warner has revealed that he walked off the cricket pitch last weekend after a slips fieldsman taunted him with a heartless call of “more dots than a dalmatian” after he’d played out a maiden over.
“The atmosphere out in the middle is no place for the faint hearted but that fieldsman definitely crossed the line,” said Warner with a quivering lower lip and a runny nose. “Especially since he’d got in my face after I’d played and missed in the previous over with a totally inappropriate slur of ‘More misses than Henry the Eighth’.”
“David just needs to man up a bit and get on with the game,” said rival fast bowler Hector Hunter. “However, I strenuously deny that I said ‘more blocks than a bag of Lego’ and hope that none of my team mates would ever stoop so low.”
Warner is considering lodging an official complaint with the Sydney Grade Cricket Competition, stating that he has evidence that the bloke at silly point said “more edges than a dodecahedron” after he’d sliced one between fourth slip and gully.
Team mates say that Warner cried his way through a whole box of tissues in the dressing room, blubbering something about the bloke at cover point saying “more Nicks than a Greek phonebook” after he’d refused to walk after a confident appeal for caught behind.