Minister for the dark arts Peter Dutton has reached out to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange to offer the stranded Australian sanctuary on the Government’s newest luxury resort island Nauru.
“Ah, look a lot of people have me figured out wrong, I do like to help when I can,” said Minister Dutton. “Julian is in a tough spot and I’d like to put him in an even tougher one on Nauru.”
“A man of his complexion would really thrive in the tropics.”
When asked why Nauru instead of bringing Mr Assange back to Australia Minister Dutton replied: “What’s wrong with Nauru?”
“It’s a lovely destination that will make Julian feel at home. I mean it has everything he’s grown accustomed to at the Ecuadorian embassy, dodgy internet and indefinite detention.”
“Oh and I understand his friend Pamela Anderson likes beaches so there you go Julian enjoy.”
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