In a statement released by Todd Greenburg, NRL CEO, the league has decided to “lean in” to the swathe of assault and sexual misconduct by its players and re brand the competition as “Australia’s Next Top Prisoner”.
“Yeah, admittedly, this has been a long time coming”, Greenburg told the press, “the new name has tested well with the fans, I reckon they won’t even know the difference”.
The new competition will take on a Reality TV show flavour, as innocent players will be voted off by fans and viewers at the end of each week.
Players voted off will be assisted with tertiary education and go on to become productive members of society, whilst those remaining will vie for their luxury cell at Silverwater Supermax.
All contestants will be given free smartphones with unlimited calls, text, data, and access to cloud storage in order to store proof of their felonious ways.
Australia’s Next Top Prisoner will be in ratings competition with a new Victorian based reality show, centered around men in their 20’s pushing their noses to new limits, finding out who can snort the most cocaine over a 26 week period.