Disgraced Cardinal and Sky News’ favourite martyr George Pell has started working on organising a jailhouse talent show that he hopes will raise enough funds to help with the rebuild of the recently destroyed Notre Dame cathedral.
“I am very keen to get such an historically significant chapel such as Notre Dame rebuilt as quickly as possible,’ said the disgraced Cardinal Pell. “I know the Catholic church is a little low on funds at the moment seeing as they told me they were too skint to pay for my appeal.”
“So hopefully I can rustle up a little bit of coin from my fellow prisoners for such a worthy cause.”
When asked what sort of talents would people see at the talent show the disgraced Cardinal talked up the show saying: “Jail is such a broad church so to speak, there will be some magic, a bit of comedy, music a lot of musicians in here especially fiddlers for some reason and I will get up and sing my favourite song, ‘Let’s Hear It For The Boy’ it’ll be a fantastic afternoon of entertainment.”
“The show will be entry by donation and we ask that you leave all shivs at the door.”
No word yet on what date the talent show will be held but it will most likely be between now and the next three to six years.
Mark Williamson
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The (un)Australian 
you could have done a much better job on this one
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