World’s Cats Impressed By How Fast We’ve Learnt To Open Doors With Our Elbows


The cat population of the world is gobsmacked at how quickly humans have picked up the skill of being able to open a door without using their hands to avoid any contact with the corona virus.

“We really thought you guys would be stuffed without the use of your opposable thumbs,” said cat spokes feline Mittens. “It took the best cat scientists thousands of years to learn to open a door by jumping onto the handle from a nearby shelf.”

“Some of us cats still haven’t figured out that a door handle works like a lever but you humans are just smashing it,” observed local moggy Smokey. “In the past few days I’ve seen humans open a door with an elbow, the back of their wrists, their arse and one genius managed it with his nose. Hats off.”

The cat world is perplexed at one obvious skill that humans seem not to have picked up.

“I’ve yet to see a human lick their own bottom clean after going to the toilet,” said bemused Beverly Hills puss Dots. “It’s such a simple solution to the toilet paper crisis yet for some reason the humans haven’t figured that one out for themselves.”

Peter Green


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Categories: Science

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