Sky News Australia Shocked Their Viewers, All 6 Of Them Didn’t Swing The Election To The Republicans

Niche news network Sky News Australia was left stunned today following the Republican parties poor election results as the network believed that their viewers, all 6 of them would swing the vote to the GOP’s favour.

”We didn’t see this coming at all,” said a Sky News Spokesperson. ”Poor Rita is beside herself and lil’ Paul Murray is huddled up in the foetal position bawling and crying for his good friend Donald.”

”Who’d have thought that Americans would find a party that modelled their policies on The Handmaid’s Tale unappealing.”

When asked whether given the election results the channel would now move back towards a more neutral and even handed approach, the Spokesperson said: ”Ha, that’s a good one.”

”Do you really think we tell Andrew Bolt what to say?”

”The bloke was found to have breached the racial discrimination act and what does he do?”

”He lobbies the Government to change the law.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and defrost John Howard so he can go and give the team a pep talk.”

Mark Williamson


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